Our B'nai Mitzvah Program

If you are looking for a secular, humanistic Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah, you have come to the right place!  We are proud to offer a meaningful and contemporary secular Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah (i.e., B'nai Mitzvah) Program that actually makes sense to young adults.  Our congregation has had many B'nai Mitzvot.

For Humanistic Jews, a bar or bat mitzvah marks the beginning of the period of adolescence.  It is not a time that a Jewish child becomes an adult.  Rather it is the time a Jewish child begins the journey toward adulthood.  A humanistic bar or bat mitzvah is the public recognition that, like generations of Jewish children past, this child of the congregation now has the capacity and maturity to take on greater responsibility for the decisions that he or she makes.

Humanistic Jews approach the bar and bat mitzvah time a bit differently than other denominations.  The focal point for each child is to create a process that helps him or her to grow intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.  When the bar/bat mitzvah year is over, the young adult should feel a greater sense of personal strength and a greater connection to the Jewish people and to humankind.  The ceremony is an endpoint where the community and family come together to celebrate the bar/bat mitzvah’s accomplishments.

Adat Chaverim asks each of its bar and bat mitzvah candidates to choose and complete a series of 13 tasks throughout the course of a year.  These tasks are designed to help students become more familiar with the richness of their Jewish culture and heritage and to support them in participating more fully in their communities.  Students can choose to do the things that most interest them.  They might, for example, perform community service, create Jewish artifacts, visit Jewish museums, attend services for other Jewish denominations, read books by Jewish authors, prepare Jewish holiday meals, and study a Jewish hero.

At the culmination of this course of study, students are free to create a ceremony that will be meaningful to them.  They can take a traditional approach, choosing to read from the Torah and to speak about the personal impact of their Torah portion’s message on their own lives. In a Humanistic bar or bat mitzvah, however, the choice of portion is not determined by the date of the ceremony.  Any Torah portion that a person finds meaningful is an appropriate choice.  Alternatively, the bar or bat mitzvah candidate can present a Jewish hero, design a service around another topic that inspires their lives,  or create an entirely new ceremony that meets his or her particular needs.

Adat Chaverim has a cultural school and mentors available to help children gain the education necessary to prepare for their bar and bat mitzvoth.  We also have a Rabbi and life cycle leaders available to help families design ceremonies that will compliment their Jewish values and identities.

The Bar and Bat Mitzvah Program involves seven required tasks and six elective tasks to prepare each child for this important life cycle event.  A Mentor will be assigned to assist the family and keep the child on an agreed upon schedule.  

Seven Required Tasks

• EXPLORING THE JEWISH COMMUNITY Meet and talk to two people who represent the Jewish community:  Anti-Defamation League, B’nai Brith, Jewish Community Center, Jewish Federation, Hadassah, etc.  Gather their brochures and write a report on what service they offer the community.

• HISTORY OF THE JEWS Read a book or watch a video and write a report.

• ISRAEL Write a 2 to 4 page report on a subject of your choice:  history, origins of the people, pioneers, diversity, previous wars with Arab neighbors, current Palestinian conflict, etc.

• JEWISH DENOMINATIONS Attend a service or become familiar with the 5 branches of Judaism:  Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstruction and Humanistic.

• JEWISH HERO List the reason and qualifications of your choice.  Write a book report on this person and prepare a speech for our celebration, include the qualities of character this person has or had that make him or her a hero and made you admire and want to be like this person.  What were the circumstances and what heroic qualities did this person have to rise above and overcome the obstacles they faced.  This is a major part of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah program.

• JEWISH SERVICE Perform 15 hours of service in a facility such as a school, nursing home, senior citizens facility, helping the Jewish community.  Write about your duties and how it made you feel.

• UNDERSTANDING HUMANISTIC JUDAISM Read a book or see a video of Rabbi Sherwin Wine.  Explain the philosophy of Humanistic Judaism.

Elective Tasks – Candidate chooses 6, for a total of 13 Tasks

• ART Create a piece of art on a Jewish theme:  Menorah, Jewish symbol, Seder Plate, challah cover, Hebrew letters.  It can be in crayon, ink, paint, pencil, charcoal, a sculpture, a photograph, a montage or other medium.

• FAMILY Prepare a family tree for at least three generations.  Find out about their occupations, personal lives and where they lived.

• FIELD TRIP Visit a Jewish museum such as the Skirball,  Museum of Tolerance, Holocaust Museum, Jewish Children’s Discovery Place.  What was your first reaction and what were the highlights of the trip.  Write a 2 to 4 page report.

• FOOD Plan, shop for and prepare a typical Jewish holiday meal for your family.  Write out the menu and the response of the family.

• HUMANISTIC CELEBRATION Attend and participate in a holiday celebration, life cycle event, service or educational event.

• JEWISH THEME Research and write a report on a Jewish theme of your choice:  anti-Semitism, pioneers, historical figures, Jewish humor, history of the Bar and Bat Mitzvah, the Holocaust, immigration to America, American Jewish politicians, artists, musicians, athletes, etc.

• LITERATURE Read a book by a Jewish author or on a Jewish subject.  Prepare a 3 to 4 page book report.

• MUSIC AND DRAMA Attend a performance telling a Jewish story or reflecting a Jewish value:  a film, video, theater concert.  Write a report or record your experience on tape.

• PERFORMANCE ON A JEWISH THEME Using any instrument (camera, video slides, poetry, story, etc.) show an example of your theme.

• TORAH PORTION (Optional) Read the English or Hebrew versions of your birthday week’s Torah portion.  Understand how the Hebrew calendar works.  Tell the cultural background of the portion and what value or lesson it is trying to convey.

• YIDDISH or LADINO From a list of Yiddish or Ladino words and definitions given to you, write a story in English including at least 15 Yiddish or Ladino words.